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Beer O'Clock GR

It's 1.02pm On Saturday January 23 And It's Happy Hour Right Now at 9 Bars In GR

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The Official Beer O’Clock Super Bowl Drinking Game

It’s happening. Beer O’Clock is releasing the first of our extensively-tested, FDA Approved* officially-licensed drinking games.

We’re going to be doing a bundle of these, so keep an eye out as we release the ones you’d expect (State of the Union, World Series, and, duh, Super Bowl) to those coming a bit out of left field (you’ll know them when you see them). If you like them, please let us know! And if you have a suggestion, let us know in the comments or on our Facebook page.

* This is just not true

Disclaimer: You are stupid. We know this because you are downloading a drinking game for the Super Bowl. Hell, we know because you’re watching the Super Bowl. If you were smart, you’d probably be off doing something meaningful. You’re not. So, in the spirit of us agreeing how totally not smart you are, we want to remind you: play at your own risk. Drink responsibly. Don’t over drink — know your limits. Do not ever drink and drive. Don’t drink and walk, if you can help it. We are absolutely not responsible for your terrible life choices. By downloading this, or even looking at it, or even thinking about it, you agree to hold Beer O’Clock harmless for anything that happens as a result of your choice to drink intoxicating beverages. Now that our lawyers can rest easier, here is the game. [/end_disclaimer]

 

Super Bowl 51 Drinking Game

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 6.02.15 PM

Cheaters: “I’m sure the stuff below is funny and well-conceived, but can I just download the damn thing?”

 

Haha, old chap! Fancy a bit of footy? A spot of the beautiful game? A bracing back and for… Oh. Oh, I see. You’re American. You think football is… something else entirely.

Well, I imagine you’ll be drinking some of that horrid sewer water they call beer over there, eh? Maybe enjoying a few deep fried poultry appendages in what appears to be just… butter and chiles? From Buffalo, you say? Well, there’s a pedigree worth celebrating.

No, no. Don’t mind me. Far be it from me to rain on your parade. I completely see the allure of spending an entire day parked firmly on your generously proportioned colonial backside, watching a game named for a part of the body that is used only rarely during its proceedings.

Or perhaps you’re one of those, “I only watch for the commercials,” types, hmm? Again, the logic of sitting through three hours of mind-numbingly halting sport to see three hours of crass, multimillion dollar adverts is not lost on me! I, too, enjoy a good short film, you know. Particularly those involving puppies and corn chips as their main protagonists.

Well, best of luck! I hope your squad wins the day. By the by, what ridiculously named, overtly masculine animals will be represented on the two sides?

Mmmhmm. The Falcons, you say. How apropos. And the… dear god. The… patriots? Do their fans come pre-equipped with a one-sided world view, or does that come packaged with the merchandise they invariably own an obscene amount of?

Well, again, don’t mind me. I’ll just be here, waiting until this country collectively pulls it head out of its arse and acknowledges that it is calling its pastime (sorry baseball, you’ve had it) the Wrong. Damn. Name.

But… as long as I’m here, I’ll just watch the match with you and wait until you all come to your senses. Though I doubt you can process much in the way of rational thought after the sonic and visual assault of the fighter jets flying over the stadium. Which is… much to my chagrin, maybe… a bit… exciting.

And perhaps, I’ll concede, football (the real football) is missing a few things. Perhaps, just… by jove, those cheerleaders are… sumptuous, aren’t they? And… is that dog a… ghost? Ha… ha ha. Hahahaha! A ghost, how droll! And that little girl, she just wants to be treated equally, and to win her soapbox darby! What fine car control — she has such pluck (must be secretly British, that one)!

And I… Mmph… these “Buffalo” wings are… well, they are quite… mmph… I might have just one more. Mmph… one good turn does deserve another, ha ha. And I… my what are you doing? That is… the”wave” you say? How puerile. I… whoop! Up we go! Ha! That was a laugh! What… fun. Dear god, think of what the fellows at the club would say.

I feel so… strange. I feel suddenly like I want to — no, I must! — play a game to drink even more of that horrid piss-water in that absurd keg you have placed conveniently within arm’s reach. I feel like perhaps I should find some rules that will assist in this endeavor.

What’s that, you’ve already done so? Brilliant! From… Beer O’Clock, eh? Cheeky, I like it. Well, then bottoms up, and, I never thought I’d say this, but…

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

 

Thanks for reading. Now have your damn game: